A Year Later – Jim Swaffer
One Year Later
They say the first year is the most difficult. I am not sure I agree with that although it may be true for some. It has been a little more than a year since Becky went to Heaven. I still find myself weeping several times a week as I think of all the joy she brought to my life. I still wonder “why?”, even though I know it is part of God’s plan. I wonder why it had to be her and not someone else. I know all life is precious, but to me Becky was special. I see so many who are wasting their life on drugs, immorality or the other foolish things of this world and Becky was making her life count for eternity. Whether it was her Sunday School class, the teens, singing in church, being mom to her children, a wife to Dave and of course a daughter to Peg and I, she seemed to excel. So I still ask the question, “Why Becky?”
After one year I also think much about what Becky has missed and will miss in the lives of her children. It seems that Mackenzie, Morgan and Donovan have all grown up so much in one year. Donovan has changed the most since he was the youngest. He has become the comedian of the family and I think about how much Becky would have enjoyed him now. McKenzie has become quite a young lady and Morgan is a carbon copy of Becky when she was young. Becky took much care to see that each one knew how special they were and how much they were loved. So many mothers today seem not to care at all for their children so I again ask the question “Why Becky?”
When others who were up in years passed on it did seem easier as time went by. With Becky it seems that everyday we are reminded of what she has missed with her family, what she would have sung at church had she been there, or what a help she could have been to some teenager. I know that God makes no mistakes nor does he do anything without a reason. I know what the Bible says in Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Most important I know that those of us who have trusted in Jesus as our Savour will see Becky again some day. In spite of all of this my human mind cannot keep from asking “Why?” So as the days, weeks and months go by I do not find it easier. I only know the time is shorter to the day when I too will join Becky in Heaven. Perhaps then I will know why- but most likely the why will not be very important when that day comes.
Jim Swaffer—Becky’s dad